Each week we unpack the latest intersections of neuroscience, business, self worth, presence and productivity. (Yes, it's a bit of the kitchen sink but I promise you nothing is more beautiful than recognizing that this combination is a symphony singing the song of a life well lived.)
The Red Flag of Stress that Everyone Misses
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Under unregulated stress, our nervous system chooses familiarity over truth—often sacrificing what we need for what we want. One of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do is let people I love suffer knowing I could “save” them. The more that life goes by and the more I learn about myself, it was never about saving them, it was about protecting myself from loss and abandonment. People cannot be saved. They can only see, hear and experience reality from their perspective, NEVER from yours. “If only they’d x,y,z… maybe if I just show them….” A dysregulated nervous system grabs onto familiarity and screams to the sun, stars and moon “this is safe, this must be alignment, this must be the right choice.” But the heart…. it whispers to us the truth. When we worship familiarity and certainty calling it safety we sacrifice who we are for who we need to be in order to avoid suffering… Self Sabotage is certainty in the past pretending to alignment for our future. I love working with the nervous system and helping people who CHOOSE to show up to understand how this system inside of us isn’t punishing us but is protecting us… often times from a future that would set us free from stories we call personalty but are actually prisons. Safety, true and genuine safety comes from the inside out. It comes from sincerely letting ourselves understand we are making mistakes, have failed and letting those feelings out WITHOUT judgement, shame or guilt. Holding space for our own imperfections is the road to remembering our worth. When the shame of what we’ve done is allowed to be felt without adding to the judgement you’ll experience a letting go that finally let’s you truly breathe. It’s not a thought, not a feeling, it’s an embodiment of who we truly are allowed to finally be set out to play. We cannot rescue people, they don’t need it, and you don’t want that for them anyways. People need the stark contrast of stress that actually allows them to change from the inside out not from fear, from choice. That choice that life is for you, not a punishment isn’t a perspective or mantra. It’s a choice you make 1,000 per day at the start eventually realizing that you became that choice. You are who you’ve been looking for. |
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Each week we unpack the latest intersections of neuroscience, business, self worth, presence and productivity. (Yes, it's a bit of the kitchen sink but I promise you nothing is more beautiful than recognizing that this combination is a symphony singing the song of a life well lived.)
Truth is, most people don’t change when they have to. They don’t change when they need to. They don’t even change when fear or opportunity knocks. People change when they choose to. And there is no in-between. Burnout isn’t caused by doing too much—it’s caused by trying to live in two different realities. One where you’re doing what you could be doing… And another where you’re chasing what you think you should be doing. This tension—this dissonance—is exhausting. It eats away your energy,...
Burnout is a nervous system and self expression problem. "You don’t need more motivation. You need regulation and self expression." Here are 3 simple regulation and self expression habits. Early morning routine. The first 60 minutes of the day sets the tone of the rest of it. Often we wake up reactive with the todo list from yesterday already burdening us. Treat yourself how you want to be treated. It’s a great time for self care or self expression. Low stimulation living. Live like the 90’s....
Guilt is just another form of our system sustaining the status quo and while it's super easy to read online that "self care isn't selfish" that doesn't actually address the core problem or help create a solution. When stress comes into our lives we lose function to the prefrontal cortex, this part of the brain really controls a lot of our inner thoughts and feelings. The information doesn't just dwindle and go away however it gets moved to different areas of the system where we often have...