Under unregulated stress, our nervous system chooses familiarity over truth—often sacrificing what we need for what we want. One of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do is let people I love suffer knowing I could “save” them. The more that life goes by and the more I learn about myself, it was never about saving them, it was about protecting myself from loss and abandonment. People cannot be saved. They can only see, hear and experience reality from their perspective, NEVER from yours. “If...
about 2 months ago • 1 min read
Burnout is a nervous system and self expression problem. "You don’t need more motivation. You need regulation and self expression." Here are 3 simple regulation and self expression habits. Early morning routine. The first 60 minutes of the day sets the tone of the rest of it. Often we wake up reactive with the todo list from yesterday already burdening us. Treat yourself how you want to be treated. It’s a great time for self care or self expression. Low stimulation living. Live like the 90’s....
about 2 months ago • 2 min read
Guilt is just another form of our system sustaining the status quo and while it's super easy to read online that "self care isn't selfish" that doesn't actually address the core problem or help create a solution. When stress comes into our lives we lose function to the prefrontal cortex, this part of the brain really controls a lot of our inner thoughts and feelings. The information doesn't just dwindle and go away however it gets moved to different areas of the system where we often have...
2 months ago • 3 min read
Happy Sunday Friends, When life hands you lemons you decide to eat them raw and enjoy every single puckering sensation it brings you. It goes something like that I think. Life will show you where you're not free and crisis always leads to the opportunity to do something real about that. Not just talk and strategize about it but do something with it. Which is exactly what I've decided to do this summer. steve carrell anchorman GIF by FirstAndMonday This modern world has this sneaky way of...
2 months ago • 6 min read
By the time you finish reading this we will be best friends or you're going to need space. “We question all our beliefs—except the ones we truly believe.” - Orson Scott Card It's time to get uncomfortable, however my promise is that this is a short term discomfort that's designed to prevent a life long battle with your own cognitive dissonance. If you're not familiar with Cognitive Dissonance it stems from psychology. This is a mental and emotional battle for attention and action when we hold...
2 months ago • 4 min read
The Actual Cost of Stress (and Why Waiting Makes it Worse) Hey friend and Happy Friday, You ever try running a marathon with a backpack full of bricks, blindfolded, and every mile you’re told, “Just try harder?” That’s what chronic stress does. It’s invisible weight. It drains your system, clouds your judgment, ruins your sleep, and makes your future smaller without you even realizing it. And yet… most people wait to do something about it. Here’s what that wait actually costs: 🧠 1. Stress...
2 months ago • 2 min read
Why You’re Still Burnt Out — Even After You’ve “Tried Everything” Everybody thinks that burnout is about doing too much, poor prioritization, or a lack of clarity. But here’s the truth: You’re likely not doing too much. You’re just doing the wrong things in the wrong state. That distinction alone changes everything. One of the primary behaviors I help my clients implement — and one of the most important things I teach — is a tool called transitional behaviors. These are simple rituals that...
2 months ago • 1 min read
Let’s clear something up about burnout, focus, willpower, and discipline — because what you’ve been told is dead wrong. It’s not about your inability to sit still, focus on one task, or push through a tough day. When we look at high performers, we tend to assume they’ve “just figured it out.” They wake up, lock in, and get things done. But if you’ve ever crushed it one day and felt totally off the next — even when nothing external changed — you’re not alone. The difference? It’s not about...
3 months ago • 2 min read
Executive functioning really means learning to better manage our stress, and here are the three things I want us to focus on to level it up: Overwhelm Management (Time Management + Routine) We have to learn to deal with overwhelm, which means managing time effectively. Our brain loves certainty, predictability, and familiarity that comes from routines and schedules. And yes — a schedule can feel boring and mundane. That’s why we must build novelty into the schedule. Curiosity and play are the...
3 months ago • 1 min read